I included this under communication because it represents and
fundamental form of communication: the letter.
Wm. Jon Strauss
Meaning and Madness
Professor Trimble
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Dear Robin,
You wrote a very good essay. I recall you referring to it as
“cheesy”, but I found it to be an entertaining read.
The best advice I can give is for you to make the factors of natural
selection a bit more explicit. I do not recall
there being any mention of population pressure.You did explain the
process of natural selection very well and your
essay is technically accurate, a double plus.
I'm horrible at critiquing another's writing. I often find
myself wary of disturbing someone's vision... I can express
that I did like your essay, though. I believe the children's story
format is a good way to write a story of evolution.
In hindsight, I believe I should have done the same, but I am already
too emotionally invested in my essay to change the format.
I have a few ideas for you. Perhaps some research into the
evolution of whales would benefit your essay. I am not very
knowledgeable on the ancestors of whales, but I'll make the bet that
you could continue to improve your essay with specific
geological records and the like.
On the mechanics level of things, you did very well. A few
punctuation errors here and there, but I'm probably guilty of
the same mistake. Other than that, keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Wm. J. Strauss