From Dr.Bryan Ness; Department of Biology; Pacific Union College; Angwin, CA 94508....4/19/02
What do you get when you cross a potato with a sponge?
I don't know, but it sure holds a lot of gravy.
What do you get when you cross a gorilla with a computer?
A hairy reasoner. (Maybe too old for today's students.)
Q: What did the football player/genetics student use to find the genotypes
possible from a particular cross after failing three times using the branching
A: A "punt-it" Square.
Why are tertiary structures selfish? Because the amino acids are all wrapped up in themselves.
What did the snooty metacentric say to the telocentric? Two arms are better than one.
Morgan was very happy that his student Lillian Sampson discovered an attached female, but he had a glint in his eye when he discovered that his student Lillian Sampson was an unattached female.
Cell about to undergo mitosis to an interested geneticist: "I hope I have your divided attention"
What has four poles, two plates, a bunch of squiggley stuff and is purple? Meiotic grapes.
What do you call a Drosophila who likes to drink? A bar fly.
What did one Drosophila say to the other Drosophila? Your human is down!
How can you better understand genetics in cold weather? Put your codon!
Do you know why the geneticist went to dental school? He was looking for an oral high gene.
Why did the gene crossover? To get to the non sister homologue stupid!
Make like a melanogaster and buzz off!
What do you get when you cross a bridge with a bicycle? The other side.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a lion? I don't know, but when it speaks you better listen.
A boy got a large gash on his arm and his sister (type AB) quickly gave him a blood transfusion from her blood to save him. Instead of feeling better, he started groaning loudly. What's the matter his sister asked? He replied: meiosis! (my "o" sis)
A boy was sitting, looking at epithelial cells on his big toe dividing, through an electron microscope his folks bought him for doing so well in genetics class. All of a sudden his sister came into the room, and being clumsy and offish walked on the foot he was looking at. His nerves being in good condition he felt, as well as saw this intrusion and cried out, "You're standing on my toe, sis!"
Why did the polyploid flower always get its own way? Because the diploid flower knew it was out numbered.
What do you call a 6-legged insect that can't speak? A mutant.
Roses are red, genes are blue, their mistakes are small and very rare, as long as you discount Newman's hair.
What ever happened to Gene? Oh, he moved to LA and hired a promoter and now he's a big operator. just last week he put an operon (opera on) in the Hollywood Bowl.
Where would one find genes retired from the human genetic pool? In an old folks genome.
Says he: "I can't help my behavior, it's in my genes"
Says she: " I don't care what's in your jeans, stay out of mine.
Q: How do you tell the difference between a male chromosome and a female chromosome?
A: Take down their genes (jeans)!
Q: How many zygotes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 2 n' 4 poles