CR 407/507 - Conflict Resolution and the Emotions
Winter 2006

Isbel Ingham
503.725.9195
NH 225
ingham@pdx.edu
web.pdx.edu/~ingham


Readings:    
All of the links embedded in the online syllabus are required reading, and will help you during the weekend. There will also be some handouts in class.
There is no text for the class.

 

DESCRIPTION: Most of Western conflict resolution advises against allowing parties to have feelings during mediation. The most popular book on the basics of mediation, The Mediator's Handbook, by Jennifer Beer and Eileen Stief (1997) states, "Participants should put aside their emotional reactions so that negotiation can progress through calm and rational communication. Being civil, objective, controlled, and reasonable shows you have a legitimate position." (p. 82) It can be argued that this is born out of the very Western notion that thinking and feeling are in opposition, and even preclude one another.

However, most evidence completely contradicts this idea, despite its popularity. We are feeling creatures. To remove that very important aspect of ourselves from any kind of conflict resolution may very well distort the process, thereby rendering it ineffective, perhaps even inauthentic. Moreover, just because someone is not overtly expressing a feeling does not mean that feeling is not impacting his or her thinking. If this is the case, it is in our best interests to explore the feelings we have while we are in conflict, especially if we are the mediators of that conflict. This is what we will discuss, and experience some, in this class.

 

GOALS: 

That you will learn some techniques with which to identify your feeling states.
That you will learn to better identify and handle the feeling states of others.
That you will learn ways to integrate both of these into your conflict resolution practices and strategies.

 

REQUIREMENTS:

This will be a largely experiential class. That said, no one will be expected to feel anything they do not want to feel. However, room will be made for the possibility, if anyone wants to take advantage of that room. We will participate in several different kinds of exercises each day that include group work, dyads, and individual exercises.
There are two papers required for the class. The first is a short reflection paper, to be done the evening of the first night of class, due Saturday morning. The second is a final paper, due one month after the end of the class.

 

EVALUATION:

Grades will be based on your participation in class (100 points), a reflection paper (10 points), and the final paper (40 points). 

 

TIMELINESS: 

It is imperative that you are present for all of the times the class meets. Therefore, if you miss more than an hour of class time, your grade will go down a notch.  Miss more than two hours, it will go down another notch--three hours, and you will not pass the class.

Similarly, if you are late three times, it will count as an hour missed; four times will count as two hours missed, etc.

To this end, please sign the class list as you enter the room.

 

GRADES:      A=150 - 130 B=129 - 110 C=109 - 90 D=89 - 70 F=below 70

Course Outline

Friday, November 17                                                                                             

Introduction to class and members              

Discussion of the various concepts to be explored during the weekend.
Discussion of deep listening--what does it mean to listen?  What's involved?

Small group exercises on listening. 
First paper due tomorrow morning. This is a two-page paper that tells me about you and your relationship to this topic. In particular, I would like to know how you feel with "feeling." How did your family handle feelings? What are your opinions about having feelings? What do you think of other people's feelings? Please feel free to share as much or as little as you like.
Readings (handouts in class):
 "Embracing grief: surrendering to your sorrow has the power to heal the deepest wounds," Sobonfu Somé
"The art of listening," Harvey Jackins

 


Saturday, November 18
Today we will talk a lot about grief, in that this is the "biggest" feeling we have, on many levels. We will also talk about handling emotions, versus coping with them.

There will be more small groups, probably some dyads, and lots of discussion. And, like last night, we will practice listening.
Readings:
"Life after loss: dealing with grief," University of Texas Website
"Compassionate listening: an exploratory sourcebook about conflict resolution," Gene Knudsen Hoffman, Cynthia Monroe, and Leah Green.

Understanding Conflict as a (Missed) Opportunity for Social Development, Ib Ravn

11:30 - 1:30  Break


Continuing from the morning
Grief Survey - Michael

Sunday, November 19

Today we will focus more on anger and fear. And we will do much of the same as we did yesterday--and as you gain confidence and experience, we will do more complex exercises.
Readings:

"Embracing anger," Thich Nhat Hanh

"Please call me by my true names," Thich Nhat Hanh

"Conscious living/conscious dying," Stephen Levine
"A day in the heart of pain," Stephen Levine
"SAGE: Mapping the course of recovery," Joseph F. Foderaro & Ruth Ann Ryan

ASSIGNMENTS 

Reflection Papers:  Please write a two page reflection paper that tells me about your relationship, to date, with feelings.

 

Final Paper:  Students are asked to write a 5-7 page paper that discusses the articles assigned for this class, especially as they relate to conflict resolution. It can be a very personal paper, or you can write a research paper--this part is completely up to you. Regardless, however, you must refer to the readings you've done for the class.
This paper must be written to either APA or MLA standards--except that you do not need to write an abstract or use a title page.