Author's note: I don't own Gundam Wing, its characters, or the song That Don't Impress Me. If you are a lawyer, don't sue me.

That Don't Impress Me

Noin was annoyed. She had the delightful duty of protecting an extremely important diplomat that kept trying to get her into his bed. Noin was not interested. For one thing she didn't just hop into bed with every man she met. And for another, she was in love with Zechs.

Unfortunately, due to his importance, Noin could not deal with Alex Peters the way she normally would. Other than making her and Zechs', relationship public knowledge, she had no clue how to make him back off.

Currently they were in a bar. A karaoke bar. At least Sally was here with her. They were watching Alex make a fool of himself. A microphone was shoved under her nose.

Noin was about to refuse when one of the songs in the book caught her eye. Graciously she accepted the mike.

Sally grinned at her as the first few notes of the song played. She knew what Noin was planning. Noin began to sing.

I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart

But you've got being right down to an art

You think you're a genius

You drive me up the wall

You're a regular original know it all

Noin paused and looked directly at Alex. Sally was trying not to laugh.

Oh-oo-oh you think you're special

Oh-oo-oh you think you're something else

Noin tilted her head and looked at Alex as if examining him, "Okay, so you're a rocket scientist."

That don't impress me much

So you got the brains but have you got the touch

Now don't get me wrong yeah I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night

That don't impress me much

Noin began to dance in time with the music. She was really enjoying this. Alex would have to be a complete moron to miss the message she was giving him.

I never knew a with a mirror in his pocket

And a comb up his sleeve just in case

An all that extra hold gel in your hair ought to lock it

Cause heaven forbid it should fall out of place

Now Noin had the entire bar's attention. Sally was crying from laughing so hard.

Oh-oo-oh you think you're special

Oh-oo-oh you think you're something else

This time she pointed at Alex, "Okay, so you're Brad Pitt."

That don't impress me much

So you got the looks but have you got the touch

Now don't get me wrong yeah I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night

That don't impress me much

Her voice had attracted the attention of a man who had just entered the bar. Zechs' sky blue eyes looked up at her with startlemant. Noin winked at him.

You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine

You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in

I can't believe you kiss your car goodnight

Come on baby tell me you must be joking right

Wufei and Zechs joined Sally. It was obvious that they found all this amusing. Noin was grinning; this was a lot more fun than she had thought it would be.

Oh-oo-oh you think you're special

Oh-oo-oh you think you're something else

The look on Alex's face was priceless. He hadn't expected this at all.

"Okay, so you got a car."

That don't impress me much

So you got the moves but have you got the touch

Now don't get me wrong yeah I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night

That don't impress me much

All eyes were on Noin. She launched into the last chorus. Noin felt like her face was going to split from grinning so hard. It was hard trying to keep from laughing.

That don't impress me much

You think you're cool but have you got the touch

Don't get wrong I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm on the long cold lonely night

That don't impress me much

Noin stood right in front of Alex and delivered her last set of lines, "Okay, so what do you think you're Elvis or something? Whatever."

That don't impress me

There was thunderous applause as Noin sat back down beside Sally.

"What are you two doing here?" she asked Zechs and Wufei.

"I'm taking over your shift for the next few day," Wufei replied.

"And since you were free, I wanted to see if you wanted to do something," Zechs added.

Noin had a feeling that Sally had something to do with Wufei trading her shifts. Not that she minded.

"I'd love to," she told Zechs.

"Great. Shall we go?"

Noin laughed and took his hand. As they started to go, a rather drunk Alex grabbed Noin's arm. She easily shrugged out of his grip.

"Who's that?" Alex demanded.

"Zechs, my partner," Noin responded. "And we were leaving."

"Aw, come on. You wanna stay here and have some fun with me."

Noin looked at him then a smile crossed her face.

"That don't impress me much."

As Noin turned away, Alex grabbed her again. Sighing, she turned to him and swiftly bloodied his nose. Zechs grinned and said, "Pinch your nose shut and tilt your head back. It should stop bleeding in a few minutes. You're lucky she didn't break it."

She and Zechs walked out of the bar leaving a stunned Alex behind. Noin didn't think she'd have to worry about him again.

Owari (the end)