Back with a mother truckin' vengeance!

Hey my beautiful people... i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Now I know you were probably freaking out thinking that I had abandoned you or this site but that's just secret and lies built on a nest of hateful slander. The truth is I took off to Utah on a spur of the moment decision. Now it is true i've been back since Monday but the thing is a person needs time to get back into the groove of things, especially because of the whole daylight savings time/jet lag factor. And yeah it's true I didn't actually fly but drive 14 to 18 hours very uncomfortable hours but it's still the same. In fact i think driving is worse. So back off.

As i said I went to Utah. Lemme tell you that is a gorgeous place. When were descending into Salt Lake at night you could see the city, and then you could see the temple in a blazing glory of lights from miles out, and then you could see the mountains providing a picturesque backdrop. Now when I say you could see the mountains I don't mean the way we do in Oregon. when we see them it's on a very clear nice day and we can see Mt. Hood or Mt. Saint Helens. When you see the mountains in Provo and Salt Lake you see a huge range of mountains that in the night look very much like a huge clouds, but rather are what you envision when you drew mountains as a kid.

The visit with Annelisa and all the people in Utah was good. I was really disappointed because we were there for one day of relaxation and chilling (Saturday) because by Sunday we had to be on the road again. It was so short of a trip and I blew all of my money on it. In fact I lost 20 bucks so that's even worse because for the latter half of the trip I was not contributing anything to gas and what not so i felt horrible. No matter, 'cause I got me a job to pay, so I can pay people back.

Sunday was a terrific day because I got to spend the day In Salt Lake, more specifically Temple Square, listening to our churches General Conference. It truly is a marvelous space, with architecture that makes your jaw drop. It also was such a diverse group of people that populated Temple Square. So many people from so many nations that made the trip just to be near the prophet. It made me want to go on my mission more and more.

I literally mean just pick up my things and go preach for the two years. I also think it's a symptom of the anxiety I feel just waiting here, working to earn the money to go. Two years is going to be a long time to be gone. I'll miss out on so much including one of my favorite things, music. But most importantly i'm going to miss my family and my friends, who are my extended family. This is something i'm always thinking about because right now I have it sooooo good because whenever I want I can connect with my friends in one of many ways. I can be involved with their lives and they with mine. And it feels like once I got it will be totally different, like the cord has been unplugged. For two years they will flourish and grow and lead fruitful lives; graduate from college, get houses, maybe get married, and who knows what else and the thing is I will lose out on being there. Let me tell you that I don't regret what I've decided for I know without any hesitation that it's right. In the time since I had my feeling I have my decision confirmed in many ways. I wonder if this is something that all people who have gone and will go on a mission feel. It's the twin face of fear and certainty. It reminds me of the drama mask that has the happy/sad face.

Well one thing, I want all of you who read this to make a promise you'll write me. Or by jove I will pee my pants otherwise. P.S. I'm not going immediately and I have no idea when i'll be going even though I hope it will be this year.

My job is going moderately well. They canceled soccer which is a major bummer because it's such a fun sport and I really enjoy coaching the kids. It's something I would love to do long term, maybe even run a parks program, perhaps in glorious and warm Puerto Rico (even though I do recall spending my time in my grandmother's air conditioned room whenever we weren't doing something or going somewhere, at a chill 65 degrees.) Now it means I'm going to have to find another job to provide the dinero as i'm pretty sure i've lost my financial aid for this term as i've elected not to go. The thing is it's mostly loan money which is a bonus because if I don't use it then I don't put myself more in debt. Now i just have to go talk to the financial aid counselors to see about getting a exemption to having to pay for the loan while on my mission. I'm aware they may do this for peace corps volunteers and man i sure hope they do it for me 'cause right now trying to save up 10 bucks is hard enough.

Had a shocker at work yesterday. Apparently middle schoolers are very much aware of sex, drugs, and rock and/or roll. Well maybe not so much the rock and roll, because they do listen to some very crappy music and some very new and expensive Ipods (stupids rich Beaverton kids) but the other stuff is so surprising. Let me think back to my middle school days... skipping school to watch the baseball playoffs and then deciding that building a popsicle replica of Yankee stadium would be rad also, getting my video game magazines taken away, eating pizza below my desk because food wasn't allowed.... hmmm no sex or drugs to my recollection.

What is this world coming to? It's so crazy because when I say these kids know of sex i mean they have done something... maybe not the deed itself but something. Now you may say i'm crazy but seriously if you had been there you would have just... poo'd your pants. Either these kids are the best liars in the world or they are involved in something that I don't think they are emotionally and mentally developed for. And it strikes fear in me because I don't think they understand the consequences of a broken condom, or std's (which i sure hope they are not getting at 13 and 14), and a variety of emotional trauma that could haunt them in the future. When I told them that condoms are fallible one kid said he would take his chances. Man, could you imagine being a 14 year old father? I mean I hope it doesn't come to that but personally I can't see myself as a 25 year old father. There is so much to do in this world that having a baby so young (i'm talking about 18, 19 years old too) with so many responsibilities attached is crazy. Now i'm not putting down having a baby at all because it is a beautiful thing, the creation of a new life is wonderful, but I think people should be more responsible about what they are doing. So crazy.

This mini culture shock got me feeling old. Older than yesterday when I found out that all my kids were born in the 90's. Right when I was watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Ghostbusters. In fact as the last kids were picked up (the ones I was talking to about all this stuff) one of them rolled down the window and flashed a peace sign and said "See you later 80's" like i'm some crazy old dirty hippy. Do i look like and old hippy? I sure hope not. Man but i can't believe i feel so old at 19. And the thing is i'm just going to get older. Damn.

All in all i'm the glad the kids feel like talking to someone about this. It just seems like if they go this alone it will spell serious trouble if they don't get help.

Ok we've reached the end and to sum up everything; Utah, Big mountains, driving in a car sucks, Annelisa very cool, next time caves, kids scary, popsicle stick Yankee stadium, i'm old. Till next time folks.